Dying To Have A Party

I've always said I wanted my funeral to be a big party.  With music and hoopla and food - good food! And as long as I'm putting in my order, I'd like to be there and have this happen before I'm stiff in a coffin (gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'outside the box').

It just so happens that last Friday I got my wish, when a few of my friends and I gathered for a funeral -- my funeral.

Even though rigor mortis is starting to set in, here I am writing about it. (Elvis and I are probably the only ones who have blogged about our own funerals. I imagine the Ellen show will be calling any day).

This all came about because I got a job. I realized right away my freedom would be laid to rest. So a funeral was planned and invitations sent to my nurse practitioner friends (the group that could best commiserate).

Invitation

During the funeral, we reminisced about the good old days. Remember when I sat poolside, or could go to a high school assembly in the middle of the day, or trample off to Salt Lake City for a concert at a moment's notice?

Now, after three years of jobless liberation, I am buried by the chains of employment.  The death of my freedom is a difficult loss.

My BFF Missy helped ease the pain with a 2 lb gift of See's chocolates....

and a prescription....

 

There was the obligatory funeral program.

funeral program - place setting

Of course, we ate. The weather was absolutely perfect for eating outside. Warm fall evenings are the pay-off for living in Southern Utah. And fine food always soothes my sagging soul.

Menu

Julienned beets with blue cheese

Funeral potatoes

Grilled broccoli

Pork tenderloin with sweet balsamic glaze

Artisan bread

Caramel apple cheesecake

Sunset spritzers

I didn't take any pics of our food (I was busy dying afterall). But here are pics from around the blogosphere of the recipes I made.

In case you were wondering...the funeral potatoes were homemade with no canned soup or frozen potatoes. This takes funeral potatoes to a whole new level. The Celestial level.

And the cheesecake.... oh the cheesecake....trust me when I say you should make this for your funeral. It tasted like little cherubic chunks of cosmic glory. And reminds you that there are living angels in this world, like Granny Smith.

It was like I had died and gone to heaven!

photo credit

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Let's Hear It For The Boys (title in honor of Footloose release)

I don't brag much (except for when I brag about not bragging very much).

I usually keep quiet about my kids' scholarships, accolades, awards and achievements.

But some things have happened recently that have proven irresistible for me to keep quiet about.  Because out of everything my children have done, these things rank right up there as making me the MOST proud.


First
My daughter Daisy and I were at a wedding reception. We were visiting with a lady and in the middle of our conversation, she looked up at Daisy and said, "I want you to marry my grandson." Daisy gets requests like that fairly often. And nothing warms my heart more than having someone give the ultimate endorsement by wanting my daughter to be part of their family.


Second
I received this Facebook message today from a mother in our community.

Jenni,
I love to hear good things kids do, so I thought you might like this. Today at the store your boys came up to me as I got to the car (lunch hour) and said hi and asked if I needed help with groceries! I said sure, but then "well I don't know what you can do - I am sort of stuck here" (no room to have them do anything from where I was parked). "Well, we can give moral support" was the response. They also congratulated me on Summer getting a scholarship and were so sincere. What cool kids. I know a lot of teens, and not many will approach an adult on their own. It was a small thing - a congrats and offer to help - but I was super impressed. Thanks for raising good kids!

Thanks to JBS for taking time to write me that note. Sharing those moments mean so much to parents. As it certainly did to me.



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Well... as long as I'm on the subject, here is another thing

On Saturday evening, Possum, Otto and Andy, and I came home from being in Salt Lake. We walked into a spotless house. Even the front porch had been hosed off. 

"Wow...what is the occasion?" I asked my dear darling daughter Daisy.

"I wanted you to start work with a clean house" Daisy replied (referring to my new job starting today after a three-year hiatus). Then this morning she left a note for me on the front door wishing me luck on my first day of work. She's like a dream mom. To her mom.

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Ok.... now I'm on a roll

A few weeks ago, Andy woke up with a terrible pain in his calf.  Watching him limp around the house, I asked, "why do you think you are cramping? Are you getting enough electrolytes?"

"I don't know. I haven't been drinking any milk," Andy, the gallon-a-day-milk-drinker said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Oh... just cuz" he replied in typical teen-age talk.

"Why haven't you been drinking milk?" I pushed.

"Cuz it's expensive." Andy hesitantly mumbled.

Tears welled up as I realized Andy was not drinking milk because my husband lost his job.


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Ok...one more thing, because I just got an exciting phone call...hot off the press

TODAY, my oldest son got a job at the MTC. That isn't easy to do. It requires a multi-step process of interviews, teaching, and presentations. Lots of applicants. Few are hired.


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My buttons are bursting.

I don't even know what to say. I'm speechless. I'm writing-less.

(see what I mean? blank space here....)









I am grateful. I am proud. I am blessed. That's all.

YASGILY Fab Four. YASGILY!!!

A Recent Experience on Craig's List (aka Tanner Butler Saves the Day)

I recently listed my daughter's wedding dress for sale on Craig's List. What follows is an exchange with a [potential] customer.

from Karly Naylor naylorly04@gmail.com via craigslist.org  to sale-fj9vs-2618568190@craigslist.org date Mon, Sep 26, 2011 at 4:30 PM subject BRAND NEW Custom-made Short Wedding Dress - $450 (Hurricane) mailed-by craigslist.org

Hello there,

           Just saw your ad on craigslist. I really like this dress,its good looking. Could I possibly get more pics of it?

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On Thur, Se 29, 2011 at 1:13 pm, my Reply:

Karly,

Sorry I am slow in getting back to you. I was trying to pin down my busy daughter to take pictures of her in the dress so you can see it on a person. If you are still interested... we can send those later today.

Thanks.

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On Fri, Sep 30, 2011 at 2:29 PM, Karly Naylor wrote:

Hello,

       Thanks for your response. I  would love to buy it,i`ll like to have the wedding dress alone. This is my first thing am buying off craigslist.org


I really want to come see it and try it on but i cannot as i am out of town due to work and preparation for my wedding. I think i have seen enough pictures so far so i would love to buy it off from you as will be relying on your judgment.


   My method of payment would be through a Certified Check since am not around and can not remit cash from here as this is coming impromptu.  Please let me know the final asking price so i can make arrangements as i will handle the shipment myself and i will be sending my mover down to pick up the dress at your place.


 Kindly provide me with your full name and mailing address to which the Certified check  would be sent so we can wrap this up real quick as the wedding is just around the corner.
NB: I also want to inform you that there will be an excess amount of funds which you will forward to my mover (for shipment purposes).

Karly.

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On Mon, Oct 3 at 11:15 am, my REPLY:

KarLY,
Okay sounds good. You have a deal!


I am excited and think you will LOVE this dress. Since you are relying on my judgment (smart move), I think that even though you are buying the dress without trying it on, I'm sure it will fit you perfectly because it is sort of a magic dress. it will fit whatever person puts it on (sort of like that movie The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants...have seen it?). Also, since your wedding is just around the corner, and you waited until the last minute to find a dress, I am so happy you found something in the nick of time. I can imagine your relief!  That is just fine to have your mover pick up the dress. It sounds like you are a pretty special customer to have such an accommodating mover. Please tell them thanks... that will really save me time from having to package it.


Here are just a couple more things to get this transaction taken care of:
1. I have had to raise the price to $750 since I listed it on Craig's List because I failed to account for the magic properties.
2. I will not be giving you or your movers or any of your other accomplices cash back.
3. I will be reporting you for fraud.


If you are still interested, let me know.
Thanks.

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Dang dumb dishonest people.

Thank heavens I had just attended my friend's important Eagle Project. Tanner Butler, an awesome local high school student, organized a community fair on protecting citizens from fraud. We heard about the latest scams from bankers and cops.

Jeff, the bank manager, told me about a popular scheme where buyers from sites like Craig's List and Ebay will pay with a check written out for more than the purchase and request cash back. In a few days, the bank (where the seller cashed the check) will demand full re-payment, because the check won't clear.

Remember the mantra Caveat Emptor: Let the Buyer Beware. Now remember my new mantra:

Seller's Be Savvy

Thank you Tanner Butler!!