highs and lows

yesterday I wrote about the lows that came along with the high of being one semester closer to graduation.

today I'm writing about the highs that came along with the low of being a few weeks closer to graduation.

this time it's the high school graduation of my one and only daughter....my right hand rock...my friend....my teacher... a ray of talkative sunshine...the best a mother could dream for.

the "high" came in the form of a concert:  the high school orchestra's final spring concert: always a highlight of my year. I love to listen and sway to the variations, harmonizations and modulations of the music. I love to watch the sea of bows rise and fall in perfect unison like a team of synchronized swimmers. All of this is made even sweeter when your child is on the stage. I never tire of it. even after watching more than...say 40 performances of Daisy's over the past 12 years. How I love watching Daisy play.

so I'm sitting in absolute rapture. also happy to be sitting next to my parents who have just returned from playfully cavorting around the country, when SUDDENLY, near the end of the concert, my bursting heart sprung a leak and Joy started seeping out everywhere......  it spilled over onto the floor and wafted up onto the stage where my daughter caught whiff of it.

our eyes met. she saw the 'leaking.' the slight raise of her eyebrow and the curl of her smile said: "not now, mom. get a hold of yourself" at the same time, her eyes twinkled with tolerance, loving kindness and a secret pride that her momma loves her. either that or she was thinking about a certain boy.

the catalyst was this crazy mean thing they do called "honor the seniors." sure...it's a wonderful thing to praise the career of a musician...except that all the hooplah means in twenty something days my daughter will no longer be bouncing through the door at 2:45 pm chattering excitedly about her presentation in spanish or the kid that put a live mouse in someone's locker (it's true!); and the even bigger meaning:  that in a couple of months, Daisy will no longer be bouncing through the door at all, except Christmas or when she needs to do an occasional load of laundry.

I thought my numb bum was sore. it's nothing compared to the pain of release in my heart.

Although it's true I lost a little Joy last night, I thank you dear darlin' daughter, for putting big deposits of it into my heart in the first place. 


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see what my mom had to say about the concert here
and if you want to be especially enlightened about the joys of motherhood and come away feeling inspired and fulfilled, read here.