Sometimes I feel intimidated by my own family.
Sometimes I wonder why in the world I got dropped into the family I did.
Sometimes I wonder if anyone else has ever felt this way.
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Just for funsies, let's take a little family tour. One of my relatives, Gordon Gee, President of Ohio State, was named one of the top 10 college US College Presidents. My uncle (mom's brother) is the Director of Finance for the state of Idaho and answers directly to the governor. He is highly respected in government and a popular speaker. My mom's other brother is the Senior Vice-President of one of the largest healthcare organizations in the country. He is a noted author, popular speaker and received Modern Healthcare's "Up and Comer's" award. My cousins are accomplished authors, writer's, journalists, computer programmers for the IRS, doctors, playwrights, composers. My siblings are chief residents, famous photographers, award-winning physicians, and highly accomplished bright individuals. My parents are amazing people who travel the world and have made friends in nearly every country. They render so much service and have made such an impact in the lives of people. They do SO much good.
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Then there is me. A simple mom who is still looking for a job.
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One of my friends was scheduled for an upcoming performance in the St. George Tabernacle. Another friend (Bridget) and I wanted to go hear her. We were talking about how talented our friend was, and Bridget said something that really struck me. She said, "performers need great audiences. Some people are blessed with the talent to perform, and I am blessed with the ability to love and appreciate a good performance. My talent is helping the performer look good."
I have since thought about this idea a lot. Since then, I have come to realize that maybe my purpose in the family is to help make them look good. I am like a shoe shiner whose life's work is to bring out the luster in something beyond myself. Heck, since I am average, the above-averageness of my family looks even better by contrast. I am good at helping my family look good.
The older I get, the more I am learning to value what is often not valued: being ordinary. Being ordinary takes courage - the courage to find, live and embrace my own story, and truly accepting that I am enough just as I am. Sometimes when I think about the ambitions, talent and accolades of my family, I start feeling the pull that part of my pre-written story means performing, pleasing, and proving. But if I am honest with who I am and who I am supposed to be, I accept that playing a supporting role is just as worthy of an Oscar as the leading role.
Do you ever feel this way? Are you comfortable with your story? Do you have the courage to be ordinary?
Keep swimming, and enjoy this nourishing song.
Ms Fish
1 comment:
I was boggled to see a woman who is set to receive her PhD this week write of how ordinary she is! A woman who writes superbly, puts on dinners and entertainments extraordinaire and who has a zest and interest in so many things. I fear we tend to see the best in others and the "less than best" in ourselves. You are one of the most extraordinary members of the family I was priviledged to marry into. Don't sell yourself short:)
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