Winds of Change

Weather has been weird all over the world.

Here on the home front, the blowing winds of change are kicking up a small dust storm in my soul. But a storm isn't always a disaster. It can produce positive re-arrangements, alternative solutions, and beautiful rainbows.

Not that you are the kind of person to hold a glass to the wall, but let's just say that IF you were to spy and listen through the walls of my home over the last couple of weeks, you would have heard

a) moaning (and you might have blushed until you realized the noises were from eating my bacon chocolate bar)
b) conversations like this:

# 1
Daisy: Did Otto tell you he wants to call it quits with so and so (his gal pal)?
Me: No

Daisy: Did Andy tell you that he kind of likes so and so?
Me: No

Daisy: Did Andy tell you that he got to go in the secret underground tunnels at school?
Me: No

Daisy: Did Otto tell you that he thinks you are the coolest mom in the world... way better than Carol Brady on the Brady Bunch?
Me: No

Ok...I'm just kidding about that last one.

Did you notice, though, what is happening here? Can you sense the winds a shifting?

In the olden days (and by 'olden' here I mean 6 months ago), waaaaayy back when Otto and Andy were in their mid-sixteens, they gradually stopped telling me much of anything, unless it had to do with homemade roll requests or the need for cash.

"But Ms. Fish," an astute observer might say, "it sounds  to me like they still don't tell you much of anything....  What is the change? Where are the shifts?"

Ah ha....!

Notice the boys ARE confiding to Daisy -- in a meaningful "I trust you with secrets and I want your advice" best-friends kind of way.

That is the distinction and a significant change. That is the rainbow.

rainbow cake photo credit: house of origin

photo credit: cookin' cowgirl

(Side note: should I be concerned that I think about rainbows in terms of food?)


While thick in the throes of tempestuous adolescent angst, burgeoning self-awareness and hormone-punched growth, I am coming to terms with the fact that my motherly role as a confidante is fungible for the moment. In my twin's case, they are taking the expected teen-age detour on the highway of confessions, admissions, depositions and assertions. 

Oh sure.....I would love for them to spill the beans to me about every detail of their action-packed lives. Both of my older two children did and I loved the close bond that we have always shared. But I feel great solace and satisfaction that Otto and Andy's pit stop on their conversational detour is Daisy, the big sister. Instead of teasing her about boys, they are asking her about girls.

Daisy loves it too. One day, during one of our talks, nestled between the posts of my bed, Daisy shared with me the genuine happiness she feels that her brothers talk to her as a respected equal, sharing all the puzzle pieces of their lives and asking for advice on clothes, hair gel, dating and school. She feels a new level of closeness to them. It wasn't too long ago that Sean shared with me the same joy when Daisy did likewise to him. Sibling rivalry revelry. Thrills me.

It's a sign of our times. It's a sign that my kids are growing up. It's a sign of the inevitable shifting winds of family life.

As for me and my soul, I know that when these winds calm down and the young adulthood dust settles, Otto and Andy will once again seek me out for comfort, wisdom, advice, and scones. Always scones.

In the meantime, I love the bond that is developing between my children. I hope that never blows away.

Keep swimming,
Ms Fish

PS: Please feel free to offer your feelings on teen-age shut-outs, sibling relationships, or anything else that swirls your dust.


Vocabulary Word of the Day (somewhere in above post):
Something that is exchangeable or substitutable

If you identify the word, try incorporating it into a blog comment to me. Just for funsies.


Heidi Freeman said...

Sibling revelry--nice concept. I am thinking you should of been a professional writer in addition to a nursing instructor. I know exactly what you are experiencing(boy girl twins--probably a little different dynamic than boy boy:) I just could not put a term to it. Now I can thanks!

KRose said...

I'm super grateful the winds of our sibling revelry haven't ever changed. There is nothing fungible about a sibling relationship. Love you sis ....


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