Wedding Wednesday: Attire

Have you ever considered how many decisions have to be made when planning a wedding? What kind of cake? Which flowers for the bouquet? How many invitations to order? What kind of music? Solid or patterned tablecloths? What color chairs? How many menu choices? What color scheme? Where to hold the reception? Which videographer? What to gift the bridesmaids? Tuxedos or suits?

Besides the choices, we had to consider the way Daisy wanted things, and the way Jared wanted things. Then there is the way I thought things should be, which isn't what my husband wanted to pay for. Then there is the way the groom's mother and father wanted things, and the way the grandparents didn't want things. 

It is a miracle that weddings happen at all. It makes me admire Elizabeth Taylor.

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The decision about the clothing was one of the hardest. It felt like we were planning the Academy Awards. It was a big deal. It dominated all of our conversations.

One day when Daisy's brothers were visiting from college, they admitted, "we are glad we have moved away so we don't have to listen to this everyday."

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At first Daisy wanted the bridesmaids in orange dresses and the groomsmen in linen colored pants and vests. Like this....


We scoured the world for bridesmaid's dresses in orange, dresses that were modest and didn't cost a fortune.

No such thing exists.

So we hired a seamstress to make them, and started to search for fabric.


We couldn't find linen-colored suits or vests or tuxes, in a modern-cut, either locally or on the internet. (And now... da da da da da da....the color LINEN is a 2013 Pantone Color of the Year. There will be no more problem finding creamy off-white suits now).

Plan B was gray. Gray is hot hot hot right now. You will believe me if you look at any wedding blog. But Daisy wasn't too hip on gray.

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One day we were sitting in Adrian's watching Jared try on tuxedos. Daisy leaned over to me and said,

"I think we ought to do black, mom?"

I gasped. "Black?"

Black is the color of spiders. And WIDOWS.

"Black!" she confirmed.

How could this happen? Where did I go wrong? How could my daughter, who usually had a sense of style and good taste, want black?

I started to feel guilty about letting her eat so much macaroni and cheese as a child.... (was she showing latent signs of chronic malnourishment?)

Then one day I thought about Audrey and Cary. They look good in black.

I turned to Google and searched 'wedding parties in black.'

The more I looked, the more I liked.

I was starting to warm to the idea of men in black.

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 Then one day, Daisy made another startling announcement.

"I think we should have the bridesmaids wear black too."

Plan E

I could see the slippery slope where this was headed. Next thing you know, Daisy was going to want me and my husband to wear black.

Plan F

Wear black to my daughter's wedding??!!!

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What do five girls - one short, one tall, one buxom, one flat, and one who gave birth a month ago - have in common? A bridesmaid's dress they all hate."  - Ilene Beckerman

Daisy was thoughtful and sensitive about doing what would be best for her bridesmaids. After deciding against orange, she decided against custom-made look-a-like dresses. Instead, Daisy asked the bridesmaids to choose their own LBD (little black dress). This allowed each girl to showcase her personality with a dress that reflects her style. And that way, the girls would want to wear their dresses again.

And not hate us their dress (see above quote).

Celeste (far right) seized the opportunity and made her black dress (that she loved and rocked).


Women look good in black. It slims and smooths. And every girl needs a LBD, right?

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Since we didn't use our seamstress for the bridesmaid's dresses, she made my dress instead.

I designed a dress, drawing my inspiration from a couple of different McCall patterns as well as other dresses. Stacey took my design, created a pattern, & made a sample dress out of muslin. Then sewed and measured. And re-sewed. And re-measured. She was amazing. It fit perfectly.

Since Daisy's dress was 100% lace, I wanted to incorporate lace into my dress.

So I could show my support of Daisy.

So I could be like Daisy.
You see.....I've always wanted to be like Daisy.

And as it turns out, I wore black.

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four beautiful bridesmaids

handsome mr fish rockin' his orange tie

my three sons: wearing ivory, orange and black


Mom and son

Fisher fam

even my dad bought an orange tie - true devotion!

the groomsmen in ties, groom in bow-tie

my whole family except one brother (sniff, sniff). they all joined in the fun of wearing matching colors. what a great family!!

my sisters. all wearing pearls given to us by my parents.

groomsmen wore black tuxedos with black tone-on-tone striped ties

3 generations

Amy made all the nephews these adorable orange bow ties

my mom looked stunning in black

Jared looked so handsome in his modern-cut black tuxedo

I LOVED how everyone looked and I ended up LOVING the black: classy, elegant, timeless. Just the way Daisy wanted.

No worries afterall.

About Daisy's judgement.

Or the mac n' cheese.

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Ties: Dillards, Nordstrom and Cheap Neckties
Tuxedo Rental: Adrian's St. George, UT
MOB Black heels: Nordstrom
Photos by Allen Hackworth (my daddy)
MOB dress - custom: Stacey King

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Thanks for listening!

Ms Fish

Next week Wedding Wednesday: Gifts


LGH said...

Jenni, you are SUCH a good writer; I absolutely loved this post. It was so fun to read about your evolution in coming around to black. And, you are right, it was elegant, timeless, and ever so classy. Fun to read, Dr. Fish!

Jen said...

I have to say that was one of the most classy, lovely weddings I have attended. It all came together so beautifully. Especially the MOB, and the QUILT.

Ms. Fish said...

Thank you LGH and Jen! I appreciate your feedback.

And Jen...so glad you came and glad you liked the quilt. Means a lot coming from you, a creative genius. It got me in the mood to do another quilt.

LoriPhdinme said...

A latent sign of malnutrition BAHAHA. You put words into such a lovely position.
I think black was the perfect choice. Who can't reuse the quintessential little black dress? Janessa even paid forward to her bridesmaids the gift of a staple for the wardrobe with that choice.


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